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Attention, pitchers - want to bring a little balance back to the game? Want to level the playing field and not let those glandular hitters have all the breaks? Dial 1-800-GAYLORD.

I mean, reality check: The spitter wasn't outlawed because the pitch that killed Ray Chapman was a loaded pitch. (It wasn't.) They banned the spitter because when The Bambino came in with the big bat and the big thrill thereupon, the Lords of Baseball wanted nothing to interfere with the oooh-and-aaah side of the game. Artistry be damned.

Let's take up the spirit of one George Frazier. "I don't put foreign substances on the ball," he once said when challenged about putting foreign substances on his pitches. "Everything I put on is from the good old U.S. of A." I mean, if Whitey Ford can do it, you can, too. Bring back the balance. The hitters will still get their big hits (hell, all they have to do is wait for the spitter that doesn't break - they call it "hitting it on the dry side".)

We need spit and polish back in baseball. Spit and polish...and KY, Vaseline, whatever floats your boat...

Baseball has been making rules to favor the hitter for years. The strike zone is about the size of a shoe box now. It's all about excitement now. Barry Bonds comes to the plate about five times a game and can jack one at anytime. A no-hitter is only exciting the last two innings. With games going over three hours these days, they have to keep the fans' attention somehow.

Man oh man. A big thanks for posting Red Smith.

Heading over to the public library to see what they have of his.

The Trib was still around for a few years growing up, but Dad always took the New York Times, Newark Evening News and New Brunswick Daily Home News.