March 17, 2002 -- Dear Liza vows and wows 'em THE Wedding, The Wedding, The Wedding!!!
First, the good news. Fourth-time bride Liza wore Bob Mackie's virginal low-cut, off-the-shoulder, white, beaded gown. The train extended longer than some Vegas odds say this union will. [how come we never got to see the dress?!]
The train was personally schlepped by co-matron of honor Marisa Berenson, who wore a backless Gianfranco Ferre.
Hairdresser John Barrett, whispering into my ear so low you'd think he was slipping me bin Laden's unlisted cave number, said, "Liza was going to wear a headdress, but we decided against it."
He told me not to say he said this. I'm not sure which part I wasn't supposed to say.
The headdress, I'm told, clashed with her earrings. And David advised against it.
Now the bad news. The 5-o'clock-sharp wedding saw Michael Jackson and Elizabeth arrive promptly at 5:15. Michael did not get the bridal bouquet. I don't know who did, as my vision was obscured by Gina Lollobrigida's wig.
Michael wore a black, beaded cocktail suit with a giant glittering broach.
"So is it diamonds or rhinestones?" I ask.
"Oh, it's both," he said. Yeah, lotsa luck.
Donald Trump was in the balcony. Alan Cummings, upper-left balcony. Sir Anthony Hopkins was in the orchestra near Celeste Holm. Rosie O'Donnell in red cupped the fourth row.
Janet Leigh, in false eyelashes, asked everyone if they had a jar of Vaseline. She found some and schmeared it on her lips. "I'm so dry," she said.
At rehearsal, Mia Farrow kept reading a novel called "Abandonment." [LOL!!]
Freda Payne, in false eyelashes and real emerald earrings, said: "The usher told me to enter the church ‘stage right.' Stage right? This is a church." [LOLOL!!]
Oh there's more, just click on the link at the top.