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Here is a poem I have always liked(yeah it may be cheesy, but too bad ;^):

FOOTPRINTS
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other belonging to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
Lord, you said that once I decided to follow You,You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me.
The Lord replied "My son. My precious child, I love you and would never leave you.During your times of trial and suffering,when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Author unknown

Thanks... It really is healing for me to hear from you guys... I think God and life and faith are much more complex than we know.... And much more complex than my friend will allow.

See, my mother was one of the most good and Godly person in my life, and she was taken from me when I was 24. She was only 58.

Even my Grandmother, also now gone, who had a child-like fascination and wonderous faith in God, didn't understand it. She lost two daughters to cancer in her lifetime, a lifetime devoted to God. "It isn't supposed to work this way. I was supposed to go first" she said.

And my friend will argue to me that illness is a punishment from God. An illness that seems to pass over a lot of really evil people who live to ripe old ages. I swear I have visions of just lashing out and choking her when she goes down that road with me.

God claimed my Mom and my Grandmother in the same year, and left behind only those who have no relationship with God for me to hold on to. That has been very hard.

Rosie... I feel for you too... and I know that these wounds for you are very fresh. I avoided your post the other day about dealing with Christmas. This Christmas and the next few will be hard. The mistake I made the first couple years was to try to recreate her Christmas. That of course failed and broke my heart, but I have come to a new way of dealing with it the last few years, and we are developing some new traditions that are ours, those who remain, and that is working.

I wish I could assure you that you will eventually heal, It has been ten years for me now... and I am only beginning to try to get it.