Posted on 11/09/2001 6:10:58 PM PST by Lower55
No Problem - It's my favorite, too. But, you rarely see it anywhere....I reckon 'cuz it has more than 'one line'....
Place a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool."
Another version of this:
So, how do you drown a blond?
Place a scratch-n-sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.
He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes.
"What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?
"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little b*astard on your knee!"
Here ya go.
My mother in law (a natural blond) was watching a movie with my wife and me one night. At the beginning of the movie the screen came up that says something like "This film has been formatted to fit your screen". She asked in all seriousness, "How do they know how big your TV is?"
Wesley to Fezzik: "May you sleep well and dream of large women!"
> >She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
> >The clerk says, "What denomination?"
> >The woman says, " O my God. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholics, 12 > >Methodists, and 32 Baptists."
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.
He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa."
Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer:
"Okay, how about this "If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"
Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
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