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Posted on 11/12/2026 9:45:51 PM PST by grundle
At first, I thought NSW Liberal Senator Jess Collins was being frivolous when she asked questions in a Senate inquiry about who’s allowed to change a lightbulb on a Defence base in Australia and how much it might cost.
Senator Collins is chair of the Management of Defence Estate Assets inquiry, following a Federal Government decision to sell 67 Defence properties because they are too costly to maintain.
At the inquiry, Senator Collins suggested that a combat engineer, someone trained in an array of difficult and complicated (and sometimes dangerous) tasks, can’t change a faulty lightbulb on an Australian Defence base because the system doesn’t allow it. Outside professionals have to be called in.
She was kidding, right? But, no, it was deadly serious because something that most people could do in a couple of minutes is a multi-faceted logical operation when the bureaucracy gets involved.
Senator Collins asked bureaucrats fronting the inquiry: “If I’m a combat engineer on a base, and a lightbulb goes, what do I do?”
Lee-anne Monterosso, Department of Defence’s First Assistance Secretary Service Delivery, replied: “You would log a job on ServiceConnect, an app that we have, or on the Defence infranet, and somebody would come out and change your lightbulb for you.”
That would be someone, she said, who serviced a range of sites including the Defence base in question. “Somebody would come and change the light globe,” Monterosso said, although it might take a few days.
Senator Collins asked: “Why can’t I change it myself. If I am a combat engineer, why can’t I change the lightbulb myself? Why do I have to go through that process?”
Celia Perkins, Department of Defence’s Deputy Secretary Security and Estate, attempted to explain why it just wasn’t possible for a person on the base to change the lightbulb themselves.
Ms Perkins said: “Ummm …. Ummmm … where would they buy the lightbulb? Where would they store the lightbulb? Or … ummm … the ordering of things like lightbulbs … ummm … ummm …”
Senator Collins followed up with: “How much does it cost to change a light bulb?
Ms Perkins stared at her blankly, evidently quite unable to respond, and then turned to her colleague for assistance.
Ms Monterosso chimed in: “I couldn’t tell you, we don’t price individual activities down to that level of detail.”
Senator Collins said: “I know you’re looking at me like this is a ridiculous line of questioning but we’re trying to understand the maintenance program on these bases. I mean, part of the rationale for selling something like Victorian Barracks Sydney, the heart and soul of the Army, is because things like changing a light bulb cost too much.
“A combat engineer can blow up bridges or go behind insurgent lines, but he can’t change his own light bulb.
“We have apprentices on bases, wages already paid for by the Defence Force, but we can’t use them.”
Nobody from the bureaucracy was able to answer.
The historic Victoria Barracks in Paddington, Sydney, is among 67 Defence Department properties nationwide earmarked for sale by the Federal Government to raise up to $3 billion. Properties like Victoria Barracks are being sold because they are considered too costly to maintain – hence the questions in the inquiry.
Senator Collins said: “This Labor government is selling off our defence bases because they don’t understand basic financial management. We need some common sense in Defence base management. Too much privatisation of Defence base services equals inflated costs and a runaway budget.”
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The joke was-
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb
The answer is:
One
What to do with that now, I don’t know
We need to borrow her.
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