Posted on 08/06/2025 6:43:09 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the United States Secret Service were reportedly awestruck today, as they witnessed President Donald Trump performing the seemingly impossible feat of walking casually on a moderately sloped roof.
Trump took an impromptu stroll on the White House roof on Tuesday, blowing the minds of veteran Secret Service agents who had previously thought that no human being could ever be capable of surviving such a brazenly dangerous thing.
"How? How is that even possible?!" one Secret Service agent was heard gasping. "I've heard stories about how President Trump can do things no other mortal man can do, but I don't know if I really believed it… until now. He just… walked. On a moderately sloped roof. Just like it was nothing. We couldn't believe our eyes."
The president's rooftop walk was just the latest in a growing list of seemingly superhuman feats accomplished during his time in office. "He's not just a man," another agent said, still trying to regain his composure after what he witnessed. "Have you seen the slope of the White House roof? It's moderate. And here's the leader of the free world, just waltzing along like it's no big deal. They spent an entire week warning us about these types of roofs during our training. They're intraversable. But after today, I think this guy really can do anything."
At publishing time, the Secret Service had requested that Trump make a special appearance at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center to teach incoming recruits the secret to his amazing feat.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I think this is a shot at the SS and specifically Kimberly Cheatle.
Early on after Trump was shot in Butler PA. that idiot so called Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle tried to use the lame ass excuse that there were no SS agents on that roof because it had “safety factor” considerations.
Very funny. When Cheatle was giving her testimony as to why the Secret Service couldn’t walk on the sloped roof because it was dangerous, I was thinking about the Secret Service mantra that they will take a bullet for their protectee. I guess yes to a bullet, but no to sloped roofs.
LOL. Trump is making sure no snipers are up there since its too hazardous for the Secret Service to go up and check it out.
Trump was last seen this morning walking across the Potomac River.
At least President Ford was able to fall DOWN the airplane steps!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jsu_qgVuhg
Some of the old Secret Service manuals might mention the forgotten threat of snipers and roofs.
I think roofs and high sniper positions were a sort of focus of the Secret Service back in the old timey days.
That is funny.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.