I have a small critique, observation, and suggestion if I may? If this is the whole first chapter it had a feeling of finality already. It began and then felt like it has already ended, mission dead, character dead, done. Or is this just an excerpt of the first chapter? It felt like it needs a lead and “hook” into whether this character actually has any possible chance or not going into the next chapter to make me curious. Anyone else around to save him? Or is that it and the next chapter is going to start with a whole new mission and new character because this one now seems to be done already?
I appreciate your thoughts! Consider Pedro Martini to be a Star Trek red-shirt... a nearly anonymous, utterly expendable character.
The book will get a lot less bleak quite quickly. 😉