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Home Depot Adds Self-Deportation Kiosks
babylonbee.com ^ | May 15, 2025

Posted on 05/16/2025 4:42:27 AM PDT by V_TWIN

U.S. — Home Depot has begun rolling out self-deportation kiosks so local day laborers hanging around outside their stores can conveniently deport themselves for a nominal fee.

"We are always looking for new ways to serve our customers, and Mexican day laborers are among our most loyal," said Home Depot CEO Dave Depot. "That's why we're proud to announce a partnership with Immigration and Customs Enforcement to make deportation a breeze."

Illegal aliens say they're so excited to deport themselves that they would have considered lining up early if they weren't already loitering in Home Depot parking lots every day.

"¡Guau!" said Eduardo Esteves before he was detained by ICE agents. "¡Tan conveniente!"

"¡Gracias, el Home Depot!"

To ensure a smooth experience, the self-deportation kiosks feature a Spanish interface, and an ICE agent is always on hand to help anyone having trouble checking out.

"Okay, now press ‘No' if you don't want any bags," an ICE agent wearing a Home Depot apron helpfully explained to a customer on one occasion.

At publishing time, despite their initial success, Home Depot discontinued the use of their self-deportation kiosks after they saw a noticeable slump in sales.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


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Actually a great idea

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1 posted on 05/16/2025 4:42:27 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

LOL! Thanks.


2 posted on 05/16/2025 5:05:15 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: V_TWIN

They’d need to deport their employees.

I couldn’t find one that spoke English Sunday.


3 posted on 05/16/2025 5:30:52 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: TheThirdRuffian

Same deal with my Walmart...at least half the employees are speaking some foreign language.


4 posted on 05/16/2025 5:47:01 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN

My Home Depot has a Taco wagon in the parking lot.


5 posted on 05/16/2025 5:55:42 AM PDT by dljordan (The Rewards of Tolerance are Treachery and Betrayal)
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To: V_TWIN

Not speaking English is one level of annoyance.

Them being pissed you don’t speak Spanish is another.


6 posted on 05/16/2025 5:56:08 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: V_TWIN

“Same deal with my Walmart...at least half the employees are speaking some foreign language.”

Same here. And Sam’s.


7 posted on 05/16/2025 5:56:18 AM PDT by dljordan (The Rewards of Tolerance are Treachery and Betrayal)
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To: V_TWIN

LOL…that’s a winner today! Thanks!


8 posted on 05/16/2025 6:11:17 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“Diversity is our Strength” just doesn’t carry the same message as “Death from Above”)
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To: TheThirdRuffian

“Them being pissed you don’t speak Spanish is another”

My nextdoor neighbor moved here from Miami a year ago......she was a state employee and she said that is exactly what is happening......state employees expecting White people to speak spanish.....that is bullshit.


9 posted on 05/16/2025 6:25:14 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

10 posted on 05/16/2025 6:28:17 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN

Indeed


11 posted on 05/16/2025 6:28:23 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: V_TWIN

Home Deport


12 posted on 05/16/2025 6:46:25 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: V_TWIN

The illegals leave their bikes chained up to the little trees around the local Home Depot while the local business owners hire them and take them to job sites. Why isn’t Homeland Security staking out these locations? Arrest the business owners too! Low hanging fruit!


13 posted on 05/16/2025 7:21:58 AM PDT by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: TheThirdRuffian

I QUIT GOING TO HOME DEPOT OVER 20 YEARS AGO OVER THE ILLEGALS IN THE PARKING LOT.

SINGLE/FEMALE/

DO NOT NEED THEM SWARMING ME IN THE PARKING LOT.


14 posted on 05/16/2025 9:40:44 AM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: ridesthemiles

Maybe you shouldn’t yell all the time and they won’t swarm you.


15 posted on 05/16/2025 10:29:14 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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