Writer's Guild: My novel, rewritten.

Original Material | 4/24/2025 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

This starts as a little bit of a political thriller but turns into a Sci-Fi novel about contact with an alien race and a piece of technology they share with us, that permits local (in-solar-system) teleportation.

[Lazamataz]

Scrapped my original effort. Tell me if you think this is better.

The Writers Guild of Free Republic ping list:

[JZelle]

You’re a very good writer, I wish I could write like that.

[DoodleBob]

Wouldn’t it be FR-appropriate to weigh in without reading the chapters?

[Lazamataz]

You’re a very good writer, I wish I could write like that.

You can! Just assign it to me! 😊

But seriously, thanks. Hope it captured your attention.

[Lazamataz]

Wouldn’t it be FR-appropriate to weigh in without reading the chapters?

Of course! Just tell me that it would be better if the World War Two soldiers actually utilized the unicorn they captured. It would frighten the Japs more.

[Labyrinthos]

You and I have been Freepers for a long time. I sincerely appreciate your many posts. I want to love your manuscript, but I do not get it. I am sorry. it does not captivate my attention. Just being honest. No disrespect.

[Political Junkie Too]

Ping for later.

-PJ

[wally_bert]

Same here. Good writing.

I’m more of an editor than a writer.

Back in the 90s when I took a lot of business courses I wrote A and B papers fairly easily as long as I had some idea of the concept though.

With a camera, especially video, I can do a great deal. Final Cut helps a lot.

[Repeal The 17th]

Only one acre of land is unrealistic.

[Lazamataz]

Ok. I appreciate the honest feedback. Maybe your attention might be captured later, when it shifts into a technology-sci-fi thing.

I think I’m keeping things as-is. I won’t be scrapping it and rewriting AGAIN. That said: What loses your attention?

[Lazamataz]

Only one acre of land is unrealistic.

Fair enough. I'll increase the size of the parcel.

[Lazamataz]

Same here. Good writing.

Thanks. Means a bit more, coming from an editor. Appreciate your opinion.

[ExpatCanuck]

I’m working on my second best selling novel… I expect to finish reading it this weekend.

[Deaf Smith]

Your first few paragraphs sets the time period as pre 1994, then you threw in a wrench with a USB drive in the story.

[wally_bert]

You are most welcome.

[Lazamataz]

Your first few paragraphs sets the time period as pre 1994, then you threw in a wrench with a USB drive in the story.

Why do you get a 1994 vibe out of it? It should be current time.

[BarbM]

Wouldn’t it be FR-appropriate to weigh in without reading the chapters?
____________________________

I didnt’ read it and I am prepared to say that I already read this book...

[oldeguy]

The premise is certainly intriguing, the characters seem believable, and the action keeps my interest. I would flesh out the characters a bit and make certain the dialog fits whatever agency these folks work for. I believe this will make for some good entertainment when it is finished.

[Lazamataz]

Thanks!