“Cocaine Quality Control Tester” seems like one of those jobs that sounds great, but the reality of it is the job is terrible. Kind of like being asked to impregnate a lesbian, sounds great until you see what real lesbians often look like.
It is worse than you think. Cocaine quality at the wholesale level is tested chemically, not by experimental use. And, contrary to what the media portrays, from what I have seen, lesbians tend to be not only odd and ugly, but they are usually also souls in torment with dismal personal histories of being victims and generally disliked.