You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier
AOEGHY OIE MHISAHWHI, LHVH GY SLH AOSHYS KTAAHSGI NVXW SLH GISHVFXISGIHISOA VOEGX IHPY. SXVXISX, FOIOEO: JVXNHYYXV WXVYH XN WFMGAA TIGUHVYGSZ VHJXVSY XKYHVUGIM O SXSOA XN SLVHH HBJAXYGXIY XI SLH JAOIHS WOVY, KHSPHHI SLH LXTVY XN 7:45 J. W. OIE 9:20 J. W., HOYSHVI YSOIEOVE SGWH. SLGY FXINGVWY HOVAGHV VHJXVSY VHFHGUHE NVXW OWHVGFOI XKYHVUOSXVGHY. IXP, IHOVHV LXWH, FXWHY O YJHFGOA OIIXTIFHWHIS NVXW SVHISXI, IHP RHVYHZ. GS GY VHJXVSHE SLOS OS 8:50 J. W. O LTMH, NAOWGIM XKRHFS, KHAGHUHE SX KH O WHSHXVGSH, NHAA XI O NOVW GI SLH IHGMLKXVLXXE XN MVXUHVY WGAA, IHP RHVYHZ, SPHISZ-SPX WGAHYNVXW SVHISXI. - WHVFTVZ SLHOSHV KVXOEFOYS XN "POV XN SLH PXVAEY"Solution to previous Puzzle: (select the yellow text with your cursor to read):
Ladies and gentlemen, here is the latest bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. Toronto, Canada: Professor Morse of McGill University reports observing a total of three explosions on the planet Mars, between the hours of 7:45 P. M. and 9:20 P. M., eastern standard time. This confirms earlier reports received from American observatories. Now, nearer home, comes a special announcement from Trenton, New Jersey. It is reported that at 8:50 P. M. a huge, flaming object, believed to be a meteorite, fell on a farm in the neighborhood of Grovers Mill, New Jersey, twenty-two miles from Trenton. - Mercury Theater Broadcast of "War of the Worlds"
HAL'S CRYPTOGRAM HELPER
You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier
I could use a little payback right now.