Obama dies and goes to Hell.
When he gets down there, the Devil says “Look. Here’s the problem. After four years of your administration, there simply isn’t any room. But here’s the thing: No matter what, you aren’t leaving. But here is what I can do. You can choose someone else’s Hell, and take their place...and we will send that person to Heaven.”
Obama thinks for a second, and says “That doesn’t sound any good. What do I get out of it?”
The Devil says “You get a choice of Hell. Otherwise, we assign one to you.” The Devil flashed an evil, malicious grin and said “You really don’t want that, do you?”
Obama says “Right. I see your point. What do you have to offer?”
The Devil opens a door, and as they peer inside, they see a large pool of dark water with Ted Kennedy trying to grab a breath, gasping as his face breaks the surface. A Devil’s assistant with a pitchfork immediately jabs Kennedy in the face, driving him back under. Obama grimaces and says “Hm. Not for me.”
The Devil opens another door, and Richard Nixon is on a spit being roasted by klieg lights as he screams over and over “I am not a crook! I am not a crook!” Obama says “Ugh. Now THAT looks like Hell. Do you have anything else for me to look at?”
The Devil opens the next door, and Bill Clinton is lying on his back, naked, while Monica Lewinsky does what she does best. Obama says “Hey. I could handle this for all eternity! I’ll take this one!”
The Devil taps Monica on the shoulder and says “Monica...get packed...you’re leaving for Heaven!
Haiyooohhh!