When I lived in St. Pete, Fl. in the eighties there was a refugee living in an apartment near me. There was a pond, and the pond was full of Muscovy ducks. He went door to door and asked if anyone owned the ducks. Nobody did. So, over a period of time, he captured, processed and ate the ducks. One day a resident duck feeder saw him capture one. Oh. MY. GOD! You’d have thought he was capturing and eating children. He was forced to move away as the resulting bruhaha was so disconcerting he felt threatened. People drove from miles around to yell at the DUCK MURDERER.
BTW, there used to be duck disposal people. But they all got out of the business when an elderly duck feeder attacked an animal removal specialist, and the old man died of a heart attack. The service company was sued by the relatives of the old man. Insurance was then required and removing ducks became unprofitable.
The trick to duck removal is to wait until early in the morning and then use just one shot from a .22, quickly dispose of the body and say, “what noise?” (Not that I took up duck disposal. Just sayin’ that if I had disposed of those nasty ba$tards that’s how I would have done it.)
I’m trying to think of how many felonies that scenario poses. It’s more than one for sure
L