[Hot Tabasco]

Or write your own.

OK snurp, here you go:

Canadian triathlete, Tyler Mislawchuk, vomits from exhaustion following the swimming leg of the triathlon.

Straight and to the point. See how simple that was? And I didn't even get paid..........Sheesh!

[DUMBGRUNT]

A good start.
But remember you are paid by the word, and food has become expensive.

Part of the game is to pad the report for a higher payout.

Hunger is a terrible thing.