Posted on 07/18/2024 8:45:57 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
So, you've heard all about the many jobs opening up in the Secret Service after the Trump Rally Debacle -- but do you have what it takes to be an elite guardian for the highest-ranking public servants in the nation?
We at the Babylon Bee have compiled a list of the 12 requirements that Secret Service recruiters are looking for. Do you measure up?
1. Ability to navigate deadly 5-degree roof pitch: Not for the faint of heart.
2. Can holster a gun in under sixty seconds: Bonus points if you can get it in four tries.
3. Able to avoid getting distracted by people screaming, "Hey, there's a guy with a gun on the roof.": Focus is key.
4. Be less than 5'6" tall: Must be able to easily hide behind the President.
5. Able to do at least two girl push-ups: Only the best for the president. ....
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
-PJ
👍
-PJ
Must be able to capture Catholic grandmothers on a slanting rooftop.
Must be able to detect and arrest persons reporting slanted rooftop snipers.
4. Be less than 5’6” tall: Must be able to easily hide behind the President.
And, additionally must be slovenly, overweight and unable to bend over and tie your shoe laces without sitting down.
Lordy me! Those women looked like rejects from Willy Wonka’s Oompah Loompah security force.
LOL 🤣
OMG!! Those 4 ARE IN IMMENENT DANGER ON THAT ROOF!!
13. Must be able to blame at least three people and or
departments for what went wrong.
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