My enjoyment was seriously diminished by the fact that it was almost impossible to make out a single word either one of the said. (aside from, maybe, a few F and B words…)
Excuse me sir (or madam), I speak jive.
After being shot by the homeowner, the gentleman stealing the package is informing the homeowner that the bullet stings and has caused him to soil himself. The homeowner expresses his indifference to the fact and remarks on his displeasure at the gentleman stealing the package, and that he had foreknowledge of the fact that he had been stealing his parcels in the past. In response, the package thief claims he is not stealing but is rather the next door neighbor trying to help in some capacity, but fails to explain exactly how.
The homeowner then goes on to explain that he could have caused even greater bodily harm to the individual, or perhaps killed him, and informed him that he was an ex-Marine, and what he received was a small sampling of his military training.
In an effort to make amends, the thief offers to bring the package back to the homeowner. The homeowner respectfully declines his offer.
See translation later posts from moi!