[linMcHlp]

U.S. Constitution

 Article 1. The Congress Shall:

Construct a thermostat to control the temperature of planet earth; and, every hour, adjust that thermostat;

Set the maximum level of the oceans;

Set the miles per Kilowatt;

Set the rotational speed of the planet earth;

Set the size of The Ozone Hole;

Plug every methane gas leak on the planet earth;

Ban animal flatulence (cow farts, but also "for other purposes");

Set the size of glaciers.

[Pontiac]

yah, I remember that in the Constitution.

But I thought it was in Article 2 and it was President Brandon that shall do those things.

[T. Rustin Noone]

Don’t forget - “Regulate the size and frequency of volcanic eruptions.”