The idea that the wedding is “the bride’s day” has become seriously overblown. I don’t watch the “Say Yes To The Dress” sort of shows, but I see promos for them, and the level of self-centeredness is disgusting. This idea that “everything must be perfect” is another amoral attitude. Marriage is not just about the actual wedding, and to spend thousands on a “dream” wedding is an exercise in self-indulgence that often follows through in the marriage, with unrealistic expectations and resulting disappointment.
I agree with everything you said there. But if the bride is determined to have her “perfect day” (whatever that is, in her mind) I say try to give it to her.
Within reason, of course! Don’t alienate a daughter over something relatively minor. But if she demands you take out a mortgage to fund a $150,000 wedding in Tahiti, that might be a hill to die on.