Posted on 12/03/2023 9:12:55 AM PST by simpson96
We all wish we had access to more money. Everyone knows it doesn’t grow on trees. It might seem like a good idea, but it cannot be printed either. And even though money is hard to come by, it still isn’t a good idea for you to try and steal groceries at the self-checkout line. Just ask Zipporah Abraham. This Florida woman was arrested for trying to steal groceries, use counterfeit cash and eat the evidence.
We begin the story at a North Miami, Walmart. The 38-year-old attempted to buy $800 worth of items, but something seemed suspicious with the bills she used. This is when a loss prevention officer was alerted of the situation. After the loss prevention officer was alerted, they called the authorities and continued to watch her on the surveillance cameras.
This is when Abraham was seen attempting to hide items inside a storage bin and sneak out of the store without paying for them. Walmart employees also recognized Abraham through surveillance videos as a repeat offender at the same Walmart location. Luckily the loss prevention officer was able to stop her before she got away, but this didn’t stop Abraham from continuing to rack up her charges though.
According to an affidavit, Abraham was taken to the loss prevention office where authorities totaled $864.77 of items she tried to hide in the storage bin. She was then detained by authorities. That is when she was asked to remove her jewelry, but instead she attempted to put $200 worth of counterfeit cash in her mouth to eat them. Abraham was taken into custody where arrest records show her bond set at $10,000.
Maybe she just needs more fiber in her diet.
No need to look.
Finally. Someone who puts their money where their mouth is.
LOL. Interwebs: Win you did.
I suspect artificial money is less nutritious than the real thing.
Sure, but if you’re trying to lose weight...
although it does grow on one specific tree: the Fedzilla Tree.
This tree is a cultivar, created a tad over 100 years ago. The first seedlings appearing at Jekyll Island, the site where the concept for the characteristics of this tree were formed.
AI written articles are unreadable garbage no matter what the content is.
“I ain’t collecting the evidence, no suh.”
Especially when you factor in inflation.
Zipporah, wife of Zippy the Pinhead.
How would she eat counterfeit digital currency ? LOL
Oh, that Florida woman. She’s always up to something!
I’m not sure who’s worse, though. Florida woman or Florida man?
if money grew on trees you Could eat...oh...wait.
bit by bit?
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