A lot of people think it’s the peg leg or the eye patch that makes a pirate. That’s just a stereotype. It’s really the parrot on the shoulder.
It's a little known fact that pirates are mute -- the parrot's always a ventriloquist.
I read somewhere that the patch over one eye wasn’t that they were missing an eye. Out on the deck in the bright sun they would wear the patch. When going into the dark hold of a ship looking for booty or enemy they would remove the patch so they had better vision in the dark.
Makes sense. Whether it is true or not, I don’t know.
A Pirate has a parrot and has had it for years and the Pirate decides to retire. The parrot picks up the usual bad habits, remembering words and phrases, one of those is "F&%# You, Patcheye." He gets tired of it, so he sells it to a pet shop.
The pet shop has got it for sale for a while but the Parrot just chatters away with "Hey pretty boy." "Come here." "Polly want a cracker ?" the usual parrot stuff.
So finally a customer comes in buys it and brings it back a few days later and says "I want my money back this bird is vulgar and I can't have that around my kids."
The pet shop owner says "What are you talking about?"
The customer tells the Pet Shop Owner it says "F&#% You Patcheye" all the time.
So the pet shop guy says "OK I'll take it back."
Pet shop owner says to the bird "you got a quit doing that"
The bird looks at him and says "F$@# You Patcheye."
The pet shop owner says "I will fix this problem." And He cuts out The birds tongue and looks at him and says "what do you think about that rude bird ?"
The parrot looks at him takes one foot covers up one eye then takes the other foot while holding on to the perch in the cage with it's beak and shoots him the middle claw.