PENTAGON—In a surprising move that’s set to revolutionize both the military and reality TV, the Pentagon has announced plans to rename all of its F-35 fighter jets ‘Lauren Boeberts.’ This decision, officials say, is aimed at ensuring live 24/7 night vision footage of these aircraft from five different angles, providing a unique and riveting viewing experience and making sure none go missing from now on.
The Pentagon spokesperson, General Tom Maverick, stated, “We’ve always believed in transparency and public engagement. What better way to showcase the might of our armed forces than by giving each F-35 the name of a well-known congressional representative?”