When I was about 21 I lived off campus with a roommate. Probably 90% of college kids had roommates.
We were too ”po” to afford a phone service and this was pre-cell phone so I had to use campus phones. My grandfather died one night and the only way my parents could contact me was to call the police.
So the cops arrived and gave me the news, as I walked back to the house I could hear the cop laughing about having to get “deloused now”. I was hurt and angry. He also made some comments to his partner that I think referenced our being gay.
The thing is we were the opposite of gay (I ended up getting married the following summer and my roommate was pretty much a man whore, picked up a different girl at the bar about every 2 weeks) and that’s not even the point. What kind of soulless monster what make crude comments within hearing of a young man whose GRANDFATHER had died that day and you just gave him the news?
I think, if an officer, does that to somebody, there should be a disciplinary action. Gallows humour is inappropriate outside the work, unless you know the person enjoys gallows humour himself. However, if he’s just speaking to other officers it should be considered private.
The officer that spoke to you was wrong, because it was your grandfather and he shouldn’t assume you can handle such a joke.