Sep 12, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what might be a stunning possibility of a development, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy finally announced he has greenlit a probe to determine whether or not there may be, at some point, the potential to investigate the possibility of considering having hypothetical meetings to maybe discuss having further discussions about perhaps thinking about launching impeachment proceedings against an alleged individual who may or may not be President Joe Biden at an undetermined date at some point in the future.
"I can confirm that it is a solid possibility," McCarthy said when making the announcement. "There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that we might do it. I am, without any hesitation, firmly committed to potentially following through with this. There is definitely a strong desire to maybe launch an impeachment probe to investigate the initial idea of doing something. Absolutely maybe."
The outcry from the American people and prominent conservative political pundits has only grown louder over the last several months as new allegations regarding President Biden's corruption have been brought to light. In response, McCarthy stressed the need for caution. "We simply cannot rush into this type of investigation without evidence," he said. "If we were to be presented with a seventh or eighth mountain of clear evidence, it may persuade us to tentatively schedule preliminary meetings to talk about a non-specific framework of a hypothetical probe."
At publishing time, rumors from Capitol Hill sources indicated McCarthy would be ready to move forward with impeachment proceedings as soon as he came up with the best way to obstruct it.