Man In Italy Killed By 25,000 Cheeses

EuroWeekly News ^ | 07 August 2023 | John Ensor

[PresidentFelon]

The cheddar on the internet is that an Italian gangster named Fontina Provolone and his wife Brie paid a mob hit man, a real munster named Asiago Romano, to kill poor Mr. Chiapparini.

Apparently Mr. Chiapparini’s feta was sealed many years ago when he publicly stated in an interview that Brie Provolone, who was a salesperson for his company at one time, had cut the cheese during an important meeting with a Swiss businessman named Raclette Gruyere and had so offended Gruyere that he immediately gave all of his business to a single American company. According to the cheddar, Mr Chiapparini’s public comments so infuriated Brie’s husband, Mr. Romano, that he stated he “would turn green and fly to the Moon” if that’s what it took to get even with Mr. Chiapparini.

Authorities said they are currently investigating the rumor but, according to police lieutenant Locatelli Parmigiano, they have found no evidence to implicate Mr. Romano who they said “refused to melt” when interrogated by law enforcement officials.

[PLMerite]

Why does it always have to be cheeses?

[clearcarbon]

"a total of 25,000 wheels of Grana Padano cheese fell in the warehouse of a cheese factory in Romano di Lombardia, Bergamo, crushing the owner,"

It's not that easy to imagine someone buried under tons of Brick in a cheese factory.

[gundog]

”What’s so special about the cheesemakers?”