Posted on 08/04/2023 9:27:36 AM PDT by rey
Decades ago, someone had done a satirical piece I’m trying to find on, what if MicroSoft had built the F18?
It had things about how you would have to shutdown and restart the plane a couple of times a day and you wouldn’t question that and if you attempted to deploy the ejection seat you would get a message reading, “Are you sure you want to deploy ejection seat?” Stuff like that.
Can anyone supply a link to this satirical piece or supply the list?
Thanks.
Quote “ Grand Master
jnelsoninjax
Posted August 16, 2008
At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.”
If you parked it after a flight, and proceeded to shut the engine off, it would keep running until new ECM updates were installed, which might take a half hour.
Unfortunately, that happened.
I remember that making the rounds on the bulletin boards.
12 and 13 have also happened ...
I seem to remember a cartoon about,If NASA engineers
designed a horse...
… and this wag points out that they now do:
“ If Microsoft made a car (Joke in 1997 that came true)
Off-Ramp
forbs
SIGNED!
Feb ‘22
Unfortunately
2, 6, 9 and 10 came true. 5 and 8 can be modified to today and be true.
Maybe 3 as I was reading somewhere that a car would cut out and you would pull over to restart it.
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Roads are being repainted so Self Driving cars can navigate easier
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
A definition of EV’s and their charging network.
The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.
Single Check Engine Light for Everything.
The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
Things an EV owner has to do to release the charging handle.
Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
This is so true, I’ve had 2 kias with the same layout but the controls act differently.
You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.”
We do this now on most new cars”
https://forum.leasehackr.com/t/if-microsoft-made-a-car-joke-in-1997-that-came-true/407014
Really? I haven’t driven a GM vehicle in quite a few years.
With fly-by-wire, a delay in response to the joystick would be common, with the little loading circle popping up on the HSI instrument.
Similar delays should be expected from time to time when pressing a weapons button.
If computers were to be built like cars and with the same union labor and materials environment, computers would cost upwards of $100,000 a piece. Software would have to be purchased via government authorization and with woke politics getting in the way, and they would have to come in rainbow colors, with DEI dictating how the hardware/software would be designed and built and sold and maintained.
As it stands, computer hardware/software is affordable and ‘easy to drive’. Can’t say the same for autos. But, computer and software have come to the rescue of autos and made them user=friendly.
Irrelevant.
ALL manufacturers have a nasty habit of periodically rearranging the dashboard controls for no good reason.
Well, item #12 in the list specifies GM, so it is relevant.
But if you want to be pedantic about it, have fun.
Out.
Had an old Subaru with pushbutton light switches on a stalk.
Different switches turned lights on and off. If one accidently turned the lights off and it went dark, the same switch did nothing to turn them back on.
Good, and stay out, at least where I'm concerned. I'm tired of your attempts to start bickering, so do not post to me again.
I’ll post when, where, and how I want.
Have a nice day.
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