Learned my golf from my Dad.
First rule: Kick yourself before you throw a club
Second rule: Walk off a green after you fix TWO ball marks: Yours and the one the [BLEEP] ahead of you left behind.
Third rule: Relax and have fun. The two things golf is going to teach you are patience and humility.
(Dad played golf from the time he learned the game in England while he was waiting for D-Day until that heart attack got him two weeks after he'd stopped playing because the rest of his foursome had gone and died on him. My brothers and I split up his golf clubs; Most of 'em are in displays but I'm still playing his 80 year old putter....gotta get back at least a part of the drinks/coffee/donuts that damn thing had cost me growin' up.)
And [bleep] that guy.