[Vendome]

Once there was a young man with a wooden eye.
Now, he’s very self conscious of his eye. Every year, the annual village dance comes around, and every year, he stands off to the side, feeling sorry for himself.

This year was no different. As he’s standing there, all melancholy, he spots a young lady with a wooden leg. She too is standing aside and looking sad.

The young man thinks, “Now, I know I’m no prince charming, but I bet if I ask that lady for a dance, she’ll say yes.” So he works up his courage, puts on a brave face, and walks over to her.

“Pardon me ma’am, but w-w-would you dance with me??”

Surprised, she exclaimed, “ohh, would I? Would I!”

“Nevermind then, peg leg! PEG LEG!!”

[dfwgator]

"Now Mr. Davis, do you take cream and sugar in your eye?"

[Deaf Smith]

Yes ago, I had a neighbor who on a whim would carry a prosthetic eye in his pocket when going to a bar.

With girls within ear shot, he would say he had something in his eye and “remove” his fake eye.

He would then wash it off in a glass of beer and pretend to place it back in his eye socket. Blink a few times and say all is good now with the girls staring at his face to compare the eyes.