Cricket doesn’t have a chance in this country just as surely as the NFL doesn’t have a chance in Europe.
Cricket could easily become my favorite sport.
Imagine telling Mrs Con I am headed out to catch a cricket match......only to return 5 days later sunburned and horribly hungover.
EC
I've never seen a game nor do I know the rules. But if the longest cricket game in history lasted 12 days, they're going to have to set a time limit if they don't already have one.
Yes but maybe this form does: Brockian Ultra-Cricket
Brockian Ultra-Cricket is a curious game which involves suddenly hitting people for no readily apparent reason and then running away. “Let’s be blunt, it’s a nasty game,” says The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Mice love this game.
While a complete list of rules has only ever been assembled once (and the book containing the assembled rules promptly collapsed into a black hole), some of the rules are as follows:
Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won’t need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.
Rule Two: Find one extremely good Brockian Ultra Cricket player. Clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.
Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall around them. The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what’s going on leads them to imagine that it’s a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.
Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the wall for the players. Anything will do – cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.
Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a “hit” on another player, he should immediately run away as fast as he can and apologize from a safe distance. Apologies should be concise, sincere, and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.
Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.