[Billthedrill]

Going for the tough rhymes here:

There was a young man named Damarius
Whose successes at crime were nefarious
He ate twenty slugs
Now he's sleeping with bugs
And an epitaph that is hilarious.

The story does note that it was the BLM that made the tombstone, not the police.

[crusty old prospector]

That nefarious thing was pretty good.