Replies

Or maybe he should just make it clear to her and her family that he who he is and if the don’t like it screw the whole bunch. If the woman truly loves him she’ll tell her uppity parents to back off. If she spends her time coaching him on the proper answers at the supper table he will look pathetic.

He should find something that each parent enjoys (flyfishing, golf, sailing, horses etc) and become an expert enough on that to ask intelligent questions and carry on an intelligent conversation on the subject. Also come prepared with some interesting topics he is knowledgeable about and ask their opinion on those things. Turn the tables.

I’ve been there. Smarter than the whole bunch, but not of their lofty social status. Once they figured out I was the smart one at the table and could converse on any subject the testing stopped.

I was assigned Faulkner, but never read past the first few pages once I saw that transcribed dialect ("As I Lay Dying"). On topics of literature or science, I generally found it easy to steer the subject matter into my numerous areas.

While I could more than hold my own at the dinner table on academic subject matters of general interest, I would not fare so well on table manners or being a bit too aggressive in conversation for the setting. I blame that on my own personality combined with being 5th of five born within six years. If you don't shout out, you risk not being heard. If you don't take your two allotted Ring Ding Jr.'s out of the box of 10 quickly, your big brother might take a third one.

Plus, that Walmart Store Manager gig probably pays better than the IT servicing I was doing, so it took a while for me to find the right girl.

I married up, though, because, like Captain Kirk, I changed the game. I looked only for serious Catholic girls who wanted a man willing to wait for the right girl, CHECK, knocking out 98% of competition. Her parents were on the same page. She also was and is VERY intelligent, but in different areas, so we had lots to teach each other. Finally she is tall, and that was a natural gift I could use to advantage.

So, in the greater pool of life, I was no catch. But in her (and her parents' pool) I was solid. We both married up (tall smart Catholic blondes are my weakness!)

Our daughter married down in socioeconomic status. We don’t care, but sometimes we need to be careful of his pride and self-respect. The important thing is that these two have bravely committed to marriage despite a world that is against it. I am so grateful for my son-in-law. He can rise in the world at his pace. Perfect? Ha,ha, no. Pretty darn good? Absolutely.

I have run across those who looked down on me. Do not know Faulkner but I do know Dickon, Doyle, Clemons, James Jones, etc. The “high brows” look down on the “low brows,” but they cannot change a tire, cannot use a hammer properly, could not change the oil in their car, and cannot fire and/or afraid of firearms.

You have to reach the point where you can look down on the family you married up into.

Gore Vidal made a big deal about the Founding Father’s being hypergamous, that is, marrying up, but who would dare lord it over Washington, Hamilton, Adams, or John Jay?

Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.

But there is a high percentage of women who are attracted to the irresponsible, exciting, man with no dependable source of income, The result in single moms and their kids in poverty. I have noticed this problem repeatedly since ‘68. I blame the pill.

But what else has brought on this phenomen? Single women see both responsible and irresponsible men available to them. They reject the responsible that they could have and act like magnets attrdted to the irresponsible.

Can anyone explain this?