Turns out the bride is a knaggy ugly hag.
Then there was the guy who fell in love with an opera singer. He hardly knew her, since his only view of the singer was through binoculars - from the third balcony.
He was convinced he could live “happily ever after” married to a voice like that. He scarcely noticed that she was considerably older than he. Nor did he care that she walked with a limp. Her mezzo-soprano voice would take them through whatever might come.
After a whirlwind romance and a hurry-up ceremony, they were off for their honeymoon. She began to prepare for their first night together. As he watched, his chin dropped to his chest.
She plucked out her glass eye and plopped it into a container on the night-stand. She pulled off her wig, ripped off her false eyelashes, yanked out her dentures, unstrapped her artificial leg, and smiled at him as she slipped off her glasses that hid her hearing aid.
Stunned and horrified, he gasped, “For goodness sake, woman, sing, sing, SING!”