Asking your friend repeatedly to allow her autistic child to attend when she can’t give him any attention to mitigate his potential disaster probably means she never intended to leave him behind with any sitters and relied on rolling over her friend who was close enough to her to ask her to be bridesmaid. So manipulation. When you let manipulators succeed, you deserve what you get. So hope the bride can keep her spine in place and say no. Screaming children should never be part of any situation involving other people. If the parents can’t control them, throw out the children AND their parents.
You and I see this the same way. Classic manipulation, especially since she called her friend a bridezilla. Truthfully, mom should know that her autistic child cannot attend. It would really be a poor decision; terrible for the kid, her, and the bride and groom. The bride needs to keep her spine, and if this means she loses a friend, so be it. The friend thinks that the wedding is her big day.