You are having difficulty processing life, go hike the Appalachian trail from end to end alone. You will have resolved your stupid petty issues.
Worked for Mark Sanford.
Got a bro-in-law who does the John Muir Trail almost every year. Loves it. He happens to be a rocket scientist. 210 miles, 18-21 days. He talks about the emotional difference of ending or beginning the hike by climbing Mt. Whitney, depending on which end one starts from. He says it’s much more of an emotional conquest to finish with the mountain.