I don’t think that taking a year off, or even a few years off, from school is necessarily a bad thing. I think a lot of young people aren’t sure what they want right out of high school. Better to take a few years off to figure it out, than to pay for expensive schooling that you will never use. Although her parents do have the right to withdraw their offer, I believe they were far too hasty.
I will bend over backwards to help my children have the opportunity to have a good / better life. It’s honestly cheaper in the long run. I see the help my sister needs at almost 60 from my parents still. I will help my kids with my time, advice and funds. If my advice and time are ignored, then my funds can can also be ignored. I never saved for their college in an education account. I saved in a savings type account or some sort. I never once said it or anything was theirs, intended for them … It is Gods money and I am the steward of it. I will not waste those funds for shack ups, quitting and just plain insolent behavior.
Never tell your kids it’s their college (or any other activity) funds. They will think it’s their money.
Having said that, earned scholarships were rewarded with other things (computers, printers, better living arrangements…). Saved money by them working was treated the same way. To be rewarded.
Out of 3 kids - 2 went straight through for masters in accounting (MAC). The third oldest made the most money but no higher education beyond HS. He managed his money well. Some physical injuries/issues are now leading him to go back to school. So I’m more than willing to pay for his tuition and throw in money for other stuff. I might need or want to do more.
My wife and I am very blessed with good incomes. So we will help but it is not entitled to anyone. Not even me. It’s a blessing and so acting as such is import to understand.
Anyway the parents may be the ass but not for this particular instance. Saying being behind in retirement and then remodeling the kitchen shows bigger issues as the parents may be just bad examples of dealing with money and priorities.