Norm was fantastic.
http://funny115.com/norm/normsaysfireme3.htm
Our top story tonight, as new questions arise about Hillary Clinton’s role in Whitewater, the President appears to be distancing himself from the First Lady. Earlier today, in his weekly radio address, the President insisted, “Hey, I sleep with hundreds of girls, I can’t vouch for all of ‘em. You know?”
Rejecting conspiracy theories that President Clinton killed Vince Foster, a report out this week from independent counsel Kenneth Starr has officially concluded that Vince Foster took his own life. Among other things, the report cites evidence that Foster was deeply depressed in the days leading up to his death. Although the report does concede, Foster was deeply depressed because President Clinton was trying to murder him.
For years, Hillary Rodham Clinton has told people that she was named for the first man to climb Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary. But as Esquire magazine recently pointed out to her, Edmund did not climb Mount Everest until 1953, six years after Hillary was born. However, the First Lady does have a good explanation for the discrepancy: she loves to lie.
Meanwhile, President Clinton is hard at work on Tuesday’s State of the Union Address, in which he’ll focus on crime, education, and the economy. At the request of the First Lady, part of the President’s speech will be huge lies.
Well, the Trial of the Century is over. Late yesterday, the fate of O.J. Simpson, the most famous murder suspect in United States history, was placed in the hands of the jurors. They must now decide whether to free him or get all their heads cut off.