Yup. My ex was a happy-go-lucky character for all our dating and as a newlywed. Over the years she became more and more shrill and angry, especially after having our kids.
Eventually we all tried our different ways to avoid her—me in my work, took additional jobs, etc., and my kids in immersing themselves in activities.
She started having road rage incidents and got in several accidents and even fisticuffs with other drivers! She became Karen from Hell with anyone in retail who defied her.
She finally demanded a divorce (and the kids).
Both kids are now adults and in therapy for their years of abuse. I should have been more forceful in telling her to cut the crap. She wouldn’t listen anyways.
I am so sorry. I have a sister-in-law who literally ruined our family. She was a meek little church girl when they met. Eventually, no one was allowed to talk to their kids or our brother without going through her, and having her tell them what to think (negative) about their own blood. Ultimately, we have been apart from them for 20 years.
Keep reaching out to your kids. They need you.