DHS Announces They Will Suppress As Much Speech As It Takes To Preserve Democracy
POLITICS·Nov 1, 2022 · BabylonBee.com
U.S. — Amid shocking leaks that showed the Department of Homeland Security colluded with tech companies to suppress speech they disagreed with, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas has doubled down, promising to suppress as much speech as it takes to preserve democracy.
“As everyone knows, democracy is when Democrats hold unlimited power, and today that sacred foundation of our country is under attack from free speech,” said Mayorkas from a massive television screen being played in the town square before an assembly of glassy-eyed citizens in identical grey jumpsuits. “We will not tire of protecting our country from violent threats such as speech, opinions, people saying stuff, and bad inward thoughts that poison the mind against your benevolent overlords. I love democracy!”
Democracy experts warn that democracy is under threat like never before as millions are being allowed to say whatever they want to each other without trusted fact-checkers supervising their every word. Said experts are recommending greater powers be given to the Department of Homeland Security to address this growing threat.
At publishing time, the DHS had coordinated with Facebook to remove a meme that reminds people of how Mayorkas looks somewhat like a large pink toad.
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Just got off phone with my sister. Her daughter-in-law passed away last night. She had the same thing as Ryan. Glioblastoma. It was 8 years from diagnosis to death. She turned 50 this year. I thought she was older but had forgotten how young she was when she started having kids. All 4 of them were there with her (youngest 16) and praying over her with scripture when she slipped into the arms of Jesus. She was a beautiful soul who always had a smile on her face.
We grieve, but not as those with no Hope.
The Bee is sounding more and more like real news, with their headlines. 😩
Ha! I didn’t realize it was satire until the 2nd paragraph.