Posted on 10/20/2022 2:54:23 PM PDT by nickcarraway
The "In The Loop" series Love Life digs into how Americans are dealing with the changing landscape of modern dating. Nearly half of U.S. adults, and a majority of women, say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years or so in the U.S., according to the Pew Research Center.
Anna Brown, a researcher who has written extensively about American experiences with dating and related issues for the Pew Research Center, gave Newsy some insight on the statistics.
"Men were more likely to say things like they had trouble approaching people, whereas women were more likely to give reasons, like it was just hard to find someone who was looking for the same type of relationship that they were or it was hard to find someone with kind of common interests," Brown said.
The most cited reasons behind the dating troubles included the challenge of finding someone who is looking for the same type of relationship: Whether it's casual romance or a serious courtship, 53% said this is a major reason. Other reasons included difficulty in approaching people at 46% and trouble finding someone who meets their expectations at 43%.
Those findings were based on data from 2019, and Brown's further research shows things seem to have only gotten worse during the pandemic.
While dating as a whole was regarded as hard by both single men and women, dating has been riskier for women in particular. Most women who identified as single and looking to date — 65% — said they experienced some form of harassment from their dates, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.
Awareness surrounding these forms of harassment were heightened thanks to campaigns like the #MeToo movement, but 65% of Americans said that increased focus on sexual harassment and assault has made it harder for men to know how to interact with someone they're on a date with, begging the age-old question: Is chivalry dead?
"Women were far more likely than men to say that it's gotten harder because of risk, so that can be physical risk or emotional risk," Brown said. "Many people said that technology is the reason it's gotten harder. For online dating in particular, people tend to experience more severe forms of harassment."
Over the past decade, dating was already becoming more complicated in an increasingly digital America and the unique challenges that came with the rise of social media and dating apps. But singles have never been put to the test quite like they were during the pandemic.
Many popular dating apps reported a drop in the number of people actively dating, and those who did continue to date took things slower. Dating app data shows many used video calls and text messaging to get to know their match before meeting up.
Factors like a person's willingness to social distance and their COVID-19 vaccination status became a more prominent consideration for many looking for a potential partner, whether it was for the short term or the long run. As the pandemic's public health measures were politicized, it also trickled into dating, which was becoming more political in a post-Trump environment.
"We found that about half of people who have online dated in the last year say that it's been important to them to see someone's political beliefs on their online dating profile, and that is up considerably since 2019," Brown said. "We also found that most of that change was being driven by Democrats, and Democrats are more likely than Republicans to say that it's important to them to see that kind of information on someone's profile."
RELATED STORY Reality Shows Are Getting More Real When It Comes To DatingReality Shows Are Getting More Real When It Comes To Dating As pandemic restrictions eased and much of the country received their vaccines, dating began picking up again. Many predicted 2021 would bring a lot of summer romance, with people across the nation trying to make up for lost time.
While that was certainly true for couples, with many ushering in a wedding boom after a year of putting off weddings, that rush of singles people expected to see was closer to a trickle.
After a lonely year of social distancing, many singles who were looking to date reported a desire to do so more purposefully, taking their time to pick partners. This trend was especially true for single Americans under 30, who don't want to risk taking a potentially meaningful connections for granted.
Some of these efforts took on new forms for the singles, with many swearing off dating apps and trying to meet people through friends or organically while out and about.
But others are going even further in their mission to find love, like with the live dating show called "UpDating." It aims to mix comedy with a vulnerable, yet very public search for love. The show is followed by thousands on TikTok, with some videos gaining more than a million likes.
This right here is the real pointer.
Too many people are used to a screen and see things in a screen world, rather than get used to being around people.
There are a lot of people who just don’t meet up in person for events.
Getting fixed up by friends is the safest bet.
Except for Lola.
At 66, I it has never been this good!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Scary to think that song came out over 50 years ago.
Married 36 years.
We own a business together. We still delight in each other’s company. She is my best friend. Yes, we still get frisky.
She has her hobbies (quilting and cross stitch) and I have mine (computer gaming and photography) but we still spend almost 24 hours a day together.
We have two grown sons, both happily married. They each married women who came from stable, Christian families. We and our boys waited until we were married to live with our spouses.
All this to say there is something to be said for doing things in the right order and taking marriage - and sex - seriously. It is a gift from God, the Creator of the Universe, and it should not be treated lightly or frivolously. When you get married you take a vow before your friends, your family and your God that you will love and cherish this person until you die. That sometimes is hard - damn hard - but if you trust Him, He will get you through it.
I do not understand the “try it before you buy it” mentality, nor the obsession with looking for love in all the wrong places. The marriages that I know of that have lasted the longest met in school or church, sometimes employment. Meeting someone “on line” seems forced and cold.
Women’s tendency for hypergame does not.
The problem, for women, in hypergamy, is that if they don’t lock down a male before they are thirty, their choices narrow considerably.
The men they rejected will have built their careers in their lost decade in their 20’s and become attractive when they hit thirty. However, that’s when women’s choices are narrowing and those men often make themselves unavailable during their thirties because they are focused on women in their twenties, now that they have access to them. This results in a lost decade for many women.
That situation only tends to start righting itself when both genders hit their forties. That’s why I state the smartest thing a woman can do is lock down a man they can be happy with when she is in her twenties.
Lola, is that you?/snicker, snicker!
They interviewed too many Karens.
Just think how rough it would be at 85. Reminds me of the story of the old married couple in their 90’s who went to see a lawyer and said “We want to get divorced.” Lawyer asks,”How old are you?” Couple responds “92 and 93”. Lawyer says “you’re a lot older than most couples seeking divorce. Why did you wait until now?” Couple answered “We wanted to wait until the children were dead,”
Political beliefs don’t cut it. More like political IQ, if they’re too stupid to pass the common sense test by now definitely culls.
#MeToo?
#NoWay!
“...Factors like a person’s willingness to social distance and their COVID-19 vaccination status became a more prominent consideration for many looking for a potential partner, ...”
Quickie summary: They failed third grade science class and math is a four-letter word to them.
“”Men were more likely to say things like they had trouble approaching people, whereas women were more likely to give reasons, like it was just hard to find someone who was looking for the same type of relationship that they were or it was hard to find someone with kind of common interests,” Brown said.”
The author concludes having trouble approaching people is not a reason. You can tell she is not a man. Approaching a modern woman is not easy.
There was an article a couple of days ago about many more young women than men, are liberals. According to this study, the liberals want liberals. They also want someone over six foot with a good income and higher education (no plumbers). Men who meet all their criteria sleep around and won’t commit to a longer relationship. Why should they? They are liberals.
Women should realize their clock is ticking, and left-wing slogans and high-pressure jobs are not fulfilling long term. They are choosing poorly.
Haha! I was talking with a friend’s ex-wife and asked her if she was back dating mode and was she seeing anyone. She sighed and said no. She started in on how frustrating it was with the dating apps. I asked her if I could see her profile and she called it up on her phone and showed me.
She is an attractive gal in he late 50s with a nice trim, athletic figure and her pictures were great. Nothing seductive, no duck lips pictures and a nice smile in each. What the heck was the problem, I thought.
And then I read her little story about what she was looking for in a man. And I read. And I read... A huge list of who her ideal man was and what Mr. Right will be expected to do to make her happy.
I laughed and told her I think I know why she’s a single woman approaching 60 years old. I said it sounded like she was looking for a son, not a boyfriend/husband.
Replace women with robots.
Robots don’t have laundry lists of must haves. And robots are very agreeable.
I for one look forward to our artificially intelligent soft bodied pleasure bot overlords.
It just proves women don’t love men. Women only love what men do for them.
If you cant do what they demand, you are invisibleas a person, to them. You don’t even exist to them.
“ Women have outrageous laundry lists of must and must not haves”
That’s because women get an inflated sense of their SMV when they are online because of all the men contacting them, so they focus only on the top 5-10% of men. Women who ‘don’t respond to messages’ are actually much more approachable in real life.
It’s even tougher if you’re married!!
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