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When I was in college I was approached by someone trying to recruit me into Amway. Of course, he didn’t mention the name “Amway” at all (that should tell you all you need to know - name is too toxic, so they have to hide it). He simply kept referring to his “business.” For whatever reason, temporary insanity or maybe morbid curiosity, I let him talk me into attending some kind of regional meeting they were having a week or so later. When I got there, I met up with him and he was so hyped up he was spinning like a top. Kept telling me about this awesome guest speaker they had there that night, and how lucky I was to be there that night to hear him.

Well, after sitting down in the hotel ballroom with hundreds of other equally manic attendees, the show began. I had never heard of this guy in my life, yet the Amway zombies were nearly fainting in his presence. Regardless, I awaited the stupendously insightful wisdom I was promised he was about to bestow upon us. He put on quite a show, with tons of unnatural enthusiasm and hyperactive jibber-jabber, but it quickly became apparent that while this guy was spewing words like a verbal machine gun, he wasn’t actually saying anything at all. There was precisely zero substance to anything he said. It was all emotional manipulation designed to whip the audience into a frenzy, and it worked very, very well. In response to this chatty empty suit, the audience members were positively enraptured. This wasn’t any kind of business meeting, it was nothing less than a full-blown cult.

After it was over, I told the guy who invited me exactly what I thought of the whole thing and left. The last I recall is seeing him speechless, looking stunned that someone couldn’t see the obvious brilliance of this “business opportunity”, as I walked away.