A couple had been married for nearly 50 years and, as sometimes happens, they divorced.
Once things were settled, they went their separate ways and did not see one another for a couple years when they bumped into each other at the grocery.
Woman: So how is life alone? I bet you are not doing well with out me
Man: Oh you’d be surprised. I found a young 25 year old gal who attends (he winks) to my needs (winks again). Life couldn’t be better!!!
Woman: I also found a young man of 25 and am beyond happy with how he makes me feel. (she sighs). The romance is wonderful!!
Man: Sure, sure. I bet my 25 year old is a much better lover than yours!
Woman(not missing a beat) - I bet not. It’s simple math my dear! 25 goes into 75 many more times than 75 goes into 25.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that?!”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “That was my mistress.”
The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce.”
“I understand,” replies her husband, “but, remember our pre-nup, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours.”
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. “ Who’s that woman with Jim?” she asks.
“That’s his mistress,” replies her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” says the wife.