The issue really isn’t double standards so much as the question is the damage done equal?
What you are interpreting from the males is that they think there are two standards to judge by, when really what males are actually saying is that they don’t identify the same degree of harm. Is it scientifically correct? Who knows. But males definitely think harm to females is more significant.
It’s got nothing to do with alleged damage done.
Claiming there is none done is simply an excuse men use to justify their behavior.
God’s standards are the measure of things, not our feelings or desires or consequences.
Wrong is wrong whether someone enjoys and wants the sin or not.