Good question. They do need to be taught to have a thick skin. I taught mine to care only what carefully chosen friends think of them, and then that with a grain of salt.
Teach your kids to be kind and strong.
I have not been blessed with children. I have heard that any turning in of a bully means both the perp and the victim are on suspension. This cuts down on turning them in and makes life easier for the school administrators and teachers.
Bullying is a criminal act of violence even if others wrongly disagree with me. I am right.
I was bullied in an isolated incident in junior high school. I always wondered why no one intervened as I was being beaten, totally at random, in the crowd of maybe 25 others who watched.
I didn’t get revenge and decided since I couldn’t tell where the four perps were and where they went later in life I would hate and be hostile to everyone on some level. Not a textbook “good thing.” A woman wrote a book Unworthy. She tracked down her old bullies and antagonists and confronted them (used internet and detective techniques of pretenses to disarm others’ reluctance to tell her where old enemeies were later).
I forced myself to be nice and was able to work successfully
from 1969-2017 and was often told “everybody likes you.” Bosses would get me to try to establish harmony between workers who were at odds and I always did it. A struggle against my inner anger but I made it.
I struggle quite a bit with stuff like this. Jesus told us to be kind and compassionate, but people who quote the “turn the other cheek” verses, I believe, don’t really get it.
Yes, turn the other cheek, but in the middle of a passage in Romans, Paul puts in a qualifier - “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” So sometimes, it must be IMpossible.
In the garden, Jesus gave himself up to be crucified. But when Peter drew his sword and cut off a servant’s ear, Jesus didn’t say “Why do you even have that thing?” He said, “Put up thy sword into the sheath...” Think about that. Jesus did not condemn Peter’s preparation, or the mindset that had him carry the sword.
In other words, I believe we are not to be doormats. I believe there is a proper time and there are proper circumstances when we are to resist.
May this boy rest in peace. I have no idea how he was raised, but he should have been raised to know that God loves him and that no one else’s opinion matters. “If God be for us, who can be against us?” Had this been a core part of his thinking, he might not have killed himself. And, it seems we are raising an entire generation of boys to remain children and never learn how to fight back - verbally or otherwise.
I took a lot of crap when I was a kid in school, but my parents and God loved me, and I knew it. But after a while, if you pushed me far enough, I’d deal with you. The guys that messed with me didn’t any more. Friends or not, they respected me. And I could talk to them.
Kids need to be kind, but ALSO tough. We live in a fallen world. God’s men need to protect their families, and we can’t do it if we don’t learn to defend ourselves first.
I’ve raised two boys, and they could stand up for themselves and be friends and respectful to those who provoked them afterwards.
This ain’t “Leave it to Beaver” any more. Some kids are evil because their parents have taught them to be. Some are even deadly. We have to teach our kids right.
(Father, please forgive me if I’ve mis-represented your Word.)