Stuff it you sanctimonius, psalm singing jackass. I have had a my gut full of pricks like you since childhood.
I’m not a prick but with what I’ve got I can get as many of them as I would ever want.
I see now a hint of why you’re struggling, but just know that life doesn’t have to be this way for you. You have the free will to change it for the better any time. Good luck.