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Study Finds 100% Of Work Meetings Ever Held In Human History Have Been Entirely Unnecessary
The Babylon Bee ^
| July 12, 2022
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 07/13/2022 12:38:30 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I am now retired—but back in the day I had someone sitting next to me at every meeting—their job—to kick me if I fell asleep!
2
posted on
07/13/2022 12:41:05 PM PDT
by
cgbg
(A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I was hoping this wasn't The Bee.
3
posted on
07/13/2022 12:41:31 PM PDT
by
null and void
(No world is so large that it can't fit within the pages of a book)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
“My team sat in on over 3,000 meetings. All of them met with disaster,” said Dr. Ansul Sundilhop. “I, myself, once witnessed a meeting in which the person who called the meeting had no idea he had done so. Employees sat quietly for twenty minutes waiting for someone to speak before giving up and returning to their workstations.”
LMFAO. Funny because this is closer to the truth in corporate America than it is satire.
4
posted on
07/13/2022 12:42:13 PM PDT
by
NohSpinZone
(First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
5
posted on
07/13/2022 12:42:59 PM PDT
by
sleepwalker
(The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades)
To: null and void
Let’s have a meeting later.
I’ll bring charts and PowerPoint presentations.
Then we’ll do lunch.
6
posted on
07/13/2022 12:43:08 PM PDT
by
SaveFerris
(The Lord, The Christ and The Messiah: Jesus Christ of Nazareth - http://www.BiblicalJesusChrist.Com/)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
25 years in Corp America, International Corps. Fully agree 80% of meetings could be an email summary.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I thought that The Bee was supposed to be satirical.
8
posted on
07/13/2022 12:44:56 PM PDT
by
cdcdawg
(Hoes mad! LOL! )
To: SaveFerris
Should we have a pre-meeting first to plan the meeting?
9
posted on
07/13/2022 12:46:19 PM PDT
by
HombreSecreto
(The life of a repo man is always intense)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
In more than one meeting I’ve made the comment, “Let’s stop meeting and start managing.” It’s overwhelmingly well received.
10
posted on
07/13/2022 12:47:03 PM PDT
by
ConservaTexan
(February 6, 1911/June 14, 1944)
I remember a meeting at my job where the boss started it with, “All right. The decision’s already been made. I just want to know your opinions about it.”
To which I replied, “Why are we here, then? If our opinions made no difference, wouldn’t this meeting be a colossal waste of time?”
Pissed him off big time, but I was the hero of that room that day.
11
posted on
07/13/2022 12:47:32 PM PDT
by
RandallFlagg
("Okay. As long as the paperwork is clean, you boys can do what you like out there." -Fifi)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
12
posted on
07/13/2022 12:48:00 PM PDT
by
NorthMountain
(... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
13
posted on
07/13/2022 12:48:05 PM PDT
by
Red Badger
(Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
i thought the BEE was satire?
14
posted on
07/13/2022 12:48:25 PM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: SaveFerris
The part I hate most about meetings is the time it takes just to prepare materials for the meeting. Every 30 minute meeting is on average an hour and a half of wasted productivity.
To: HombreSecreto
LOL, that reminds me of the white board message from "Office Space" that says "planning to plan".
16
posted on
07/13/2022 12:48:55 PM PDT
by
NohSpinZone
(First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
To: HombreSecreto
I think that’s an excellent idea!!
👍👍
17
posted on
07/13/2022 12:50:40 PM PDT
by
SaveFerris
(The Lord, The Christ and The Messiah: Jesus Christ of Nazareth - http://www.BiblicalJesusChrist.Com/)
To: WarlordBK
18
posted on
07/13/2022 12:51:40 PM PDT
by
SaveFerris
(The Lord, The Christ and The Messiah: Jesus Christ of Nazareth - http://www.BiblicalJesusChrist.Com/)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I know this article is satire but there is a lot of truth behind it. A previous company I worked for had daily meetings for two hours (sometimes three). The managers would talk and talk and then finally decide to meet again the next day.
No one would actually make a decision except to meet again. It was a total waste of time but the CEO didn’t seem to care. I would just shrug my shoulders and go through the motions.
I’m sure the federal and state governments are the same way.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I know this is BB, but they are 100% right with this article. Besides the coffee and pastries, the other most important thing about any meeting was scheduling the next meeting.
20
posted on
07/13/2022 12:52:50 PM PDT
by
CFW
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