Okay, now I understand your father is at your daughter’s home. LilFarmer is correct. You have the right to choose another hospice agency and find one that *will* treat him for issues other than the terminal illness. You can also look into a palliative care home service (you get doctor visits, nurse visits, hospital bed, potty chair, etc.) that will treat him and pause hospice if you like the palliative care service better.
If he is on Medicaid, you usually get caregivers, and these caregivers are not tied to being on hospice, but provided as needed whether on hospice or not. I had to hire caregivers privately, as my Dad was not on Medicaid.
How would your father be cared for if he went back to the trailer in the boonies? Medicaid does not provide 24/7 caregivers in my state (maybe they do in yours), and with no family member present ... how could that be managed? Even with 24/7 paid caregivers, it could be a problem as they don’t always show up, and with no family member around, well, could be risky and big headaches for you having to go out there all the time. And do any good hospices or other care services cover that area?
As much as we want to honor our loved ones’ wishes, sometimes it is not possible. It’s hard for someone with dementia to understand that, but at the same time, a person with dementia may not be able to make wise decisions and we have to make hard choices for them. Again, my heart goes out to you and your family. I know this is hard!
My FIL is also not on Medicaid, so we hired a private caregiver who comes in a few hours a day to give us a break. It’s expensive, but very necessary for our sanity - it is hard, no doubt about it. I took care of my mom who had ALS and I thought that was hard, but in many ways this is harder because my FIL is completely different than the person he was (aggressive, etc) and doesn’t know who we are.