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In general, intact families are better. But sometimes leaving an abusive man is the best thing a mother can do for her kid(s).

Yes, certainly, in some cases, this is true. But I find that even maintaining the pretense of a stable and functional family is better than nothing. And for that we need to go back to stronger societal pressure and norms.

As a kid, I had a good friend whose Dad was an abusive. Not all the time, but certainly when he was drinking. Like many abusive families, they were on tenterhooks because they didn't know what would set him off (although drinking was a necessary condition). But his father would never do anything obvious to bring public scorn on himself or disgrace on his family. His parents very Catholic fear of divorce kept them together. His father's nominal church connection, professional reputation, and neighborhood demanded he at least keep up a respectable face. These modes of social pressure certainly moderated is father's behavior.

In the end, his father died somewhat early (in his early 60s), of liver cancer. And even with a somewhat traumatic childhood, my friend tells me he gained enough good lessons of what a good father and good family should be, to carry that into his own adulthood, and family which is successful and stable.

I think events like shootings and robberies by unusual suspects, like elderly women, occur due to something called “permission giving.” A kid shoots up a school. Two things occur in the mind of other kids. One is how famous the shooter is and the second is, if he can do it, I can do it too. As to why, I’d suspect that most if not all the shooters are sociopaths. They have no sense of how other people feel. Not all sociopaths are evil. I read about a clinical psychologist who was examining brain scans in a study of sociopaths. Unknown to him his associates had slipped in his own scan, and he diagnosed himself as a sociopath. (As I recall a sociopath has a distinct lack of activity in a particular area of the brain.) When this became known and he was interviewed he said something like, yes, I knew I had no connections with other people. When Aunt Tilly died, I decided I’d rather play golf than go to the funeral. I knew it was “wrong” I just didn’t care. He was a successful doctor and father.