Yeah, I thought of that one too.
Samson Blood donors that way, please.
Donor Oh thank you very much (joins the line).
Samson Thank you. (Grimshaw comes up to him and whispers in his ear, Samson looks at him, slightly surprised) What?
(Grimshaw whispers again) No. No, I'm sorry but no.
(Grimshaw whispers again) No, you may not give urine instead of blood. (Grimshaw whispers again) No, well, I don't care if you want to. (Grimshaw whispers again) No. There is no such thing as a urine bank.
Grimshaw Please.
Samson No. We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it.
Grimshaw Just a specimen.
Samson No, we don't want a specimen. We either want your blood or nothing.
Grimshaw I'll give you some blood if you'll give me...
Samson What?
Grimshaw A thing to do some urine in.
Samson No, no, just go away please.
Note to younger FReepers - this was supposed to be comedy, not prophecy. Comedy. We have slipped through a timewarp into Monty Python World.
Martin: Good morning. I’ve been in touch with you about the, er, life insurance...
Feldman: Ah yes, did you bring the um ... the specimen of your um ... and so on, and so on?
Martin: Yes I did. It’s in the car. There’s rather a lot.
Feldman: Good, good.
Martin: Do you really need twelve gallons?
Feldman: No, no, not really.
Martin: Do you test it?
Feldman: No.
Martin: Well, why do you want it?
Feldman: Well, we do it to make sure that you’re serious about wanting insurance, I mean, if you’re not, you won’t spend a couple of months filling up that enormous churn with mmm, so on and so on...
Martin: Shall I bring it in?
Feldman: Good Lord no. Throw it away.
Martin: Throw it away? I was months filling that thing up.
(The sound of the National Anthem starts. They stand to attention. Martin and Feldman mutter to each other, and we hear a reverential voice over.)
Voice Over: And we’ve just heard that Her Majesty the Queen has just tuned into this program and so she is now watching this royal sketch here in this royal set. The actor on the left is wearing the great grey suit of the BBC wardrobe department and the other actor is ... about to deliver the first great royal joke here this royal evening. (the camera pans, Martin following it part way, to show the camera crew and the audience, all standing to attention) Over to the fight you can see the royal cameraman, and behind... Oh, we’ve just heard she’s switched over. She’s watching the ‘News at Ten’.
(Cries of disappointment.)