My approval or disapproval is not a concern.
In this case, I would think that the loss of his daughter would be enough for the father to let go of anger. The only memory I would want for my lost child is for the love for her would endure.
As for the planter itself, I'm not sure if I would want that on my daughter's grave, but I would speak directly to the person who put it there. Perhaps he did.
“the loss of his daughter would be enough for the father to let go of anger”
As a man that’s supposed to be leading and teaching people to be more like Jesus he should be ashamed of himself.
If I was a member of his congregation I would have to seriously consider finding a new home Church.