I remember going to a nightclub way back when, and I could not get a gal to dance. I probably asked 3 or 4 women who all turned me down. I got angry and frustrated, and just began asking nearly any girl. No dice. Now, I don't know what kind of club that was, or what type of people were there for, or if it was even primarily for dancing. No idea. But I was sick of getting shot down, and I know many guys who never even progressed past the getting shot down phase and just gave up. Good men who had no knack for it, or desire to be persistent.
As for myself, I wasn't unattractive by accounts, I suspect was what gals back then described as a "nice" guy. I never pushed myself on anyone, I treated them with respect, and if someone said no in any fashion, that was that.
But I never had luck at being a "ladies man". And I would see guys who I knew were a-holes getting women to date and dance all the time. I never understood it, and still don't. In the course of my life, I have discovered (and been told) that every emotion shows clearly on my face, so perhaps I was unknowingly transmitting just how uncomfortable the process was, and they picked up on it. Or it might have been bad breath. I don't know.
I met my wife where we worked so many years ago, and we were introduced by an elderly patient with one foot in two worlds. (my wife had been taking care of of her, and she late told me that the skinny little 88 year old lady had been trying to set her up with any human of the male persuasion who passed through her room!)
My wife asked me out first.
I just don't understand dating, never did, and hated the concept. I can't conceive of how unimaginably weird and byzantine it must be today.
I am interested in the time period your remarks are focused on. I graduated high school in 1967, not a virgin and college was shall we say interesting. My guess is things changed a lot in the 80’s but area of country may have something to do with it.
I have dated. A lot. I am unmarried by choice. The one thing that I learned. Women have ZERO respect for a “nice guy.” None. They will all say they do. But they don’t.