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A Week In Orange County, CA, On A $330,000 Joint Income
Refinery29 ^ | 04/08/2022

Posted on 04/15/2022 10:13:14 AM PDT by Drew68

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
COVID-19 has caused many of us to rethink and reprioritize our personal finances. What has changed for you? What questions do you have about money right now? Is there something you've been wondering for a long time but have been too embarrassed to ask? Send us your pressing money question at moneyquestions@refinery29.com.

Today: an employer brand director who has a joint income of $330,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on $600 worth of ASOS clothing.

Occupation: Employer Brand Director
Industry: Health Tech
Age: 44
Location: Orange County, CA
My Salary: $220,000  
My Husband's Salary: $110,000
Net Worth: $450,000 (House value: $1.2 million minus debt. Our net worth is entirely made up of equity in our primary residence. We own no other properties, have no savings, and no 401(k)s. My husband doesn't pay attention to our finances, which are entirely joint across checking and savings. I pay all the bills and handle all of our money and financial decisions.)
Debt: $750,000 ($10,000 credit cards, $40,000 in auto loans, and $700,000 remaining mortgage)
My Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $4,600
My Husband's Paycheck Amount (1x/month): $6,500
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Mortgage: $4,700 
Daughter's Rent: $1,800 (for her apartment at college)
Auto Loans: $1,100 (for my car and my daughter's car, my husband's car is paid off)
Cable & Internet: $250 
Streaming Services: $100 (Netflix, Hulu, Apple+, Discovery+, Amazon Prime)
Phones: $200 
Utilities: $1,000 
Gym: $50 
HOA: $285 
Auto Insurance: $500
College Tuition: $1,500 (paid monthly towards my daughter's public university)
Health Insurance: $500 (pre-tax)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and higher education was strongly discouraged by my family and community. My parents would never pay for any education. I was homeschooled from seventh grade onward. I started going to community college in pieces as I worked through the years, learning mostly through experience.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents lived for the moment and had no long-term planning. Their worldview drove a short-term mindset. My dad owned his own company, and my mom worked small jobs when necessary. We lived mostly paycheck to paycheck, but I never wanted for anything. My dad said "credit debt will always be there," something I only recently realized doesn't need to be true. My mom has a distaste for money. She was raised wealthy with an unhappy childhood and associates money with moral and ethical decline. To her, money is a necessary evil and doesn't represent security. My only financial education was when my mom taught me to float a check.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was at 15 selling concert tickets at a winery in the little town where I grew up. I was hired by my mom's friend and was surrounded by nurturing, sweet women. I couldn't wait to have a job and make money. It was a great experience in work ethic, and I learned that, through work, I had more options for myself.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I know that bill collectors called and that there were foreclosure notices once, but we traveled and went out to eat a lot and I was never told I couldn't do or have something because of money.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, very much. I am the main breadwinner and haven't saved, so that is stressful.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible living on my own at 19, but I always had my mom to fall back on for money. I met my (older) husband at 20 and had his financial support for years before I worked full-time. We don't have a financial safety net. Worst case we would need to move in with my in-laws.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My husband received a substantial amount of money ($500,000) when his parent passed, and we invested only $40,000 into our home. The rest went to travel and cars and furniture. Something we deeply regret!

8 a.m. — I order a sesame bagel with sun-dried tomato cream cheese. Since working from home, I've gotten into the bad habit of ordering a single bagel to be delivered several times a week. The bagel itself is only $4.49, but after the fees, tax, and tip I pay $15.50 for a bagel and cream cheese. I realize that objectively this is ridiculous, but to me, an extra $10 is worth a bagel and cream cheese on-demand in between work calls. $15.50

2 p.m. — For the life of me, I can't find an organizer/calendar/notebook I like. After a conversation with a coworker, I'm influenced to buy a fancy one (this will be my fourth this year, and it's only February). $75

8 p.m. — TikTok strikes again. I find myself scrolling while watching Ozark and end up on #cleantok. After I've watched five fridge organization videos, I immediately toggle over to Amazon and buy what I am sure to be life-changing plastic bins for my messy fridge. I can't wait to line up all of my oranges. $88

9:30 a.m. — I accompany my husband to the dentist for his long-overdue root canal. He's nervous, so I keep telling him how brave he is in front of the dentist, which is embarrassing for him, but entertaining to the dentist and his assistant. He is literally triple-insured because I have overlap in my insurance providers this month, yet our portion is still $880. We put it on one of our Amex cards because our checking account is overdrawn. Maybe from yesterday's bagel? $880

2 p.m. — My husband can barely chew but he is craving a tuna sandwich. Which I, of course, can easily order for delivery. I order one for each of us and a small tomato soup as well. Also cookies. $27

8 p.m. — I just started a new job and want to elevate my above-the-waist fashion game for Zoom calls with all of my new colleagues. I order three very cute sweaters from & Other Stories, which will go perfectly with my pajama bottoms and slippers. $198

7 a.m. — My sister-in-law messages our group text that the elementary school where she teaches is hosting a virtual fundraiser tonight. We just need to order from Panda Express online using a special code. I place our order for delivery tonight so I don't forget. We recently became vegetarian, so this is not without its challenges. I order veggie chow mein, veggie rice, spring rolls, and stir fry. $35

1 p.m. — I finished a great book last night, Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney, so I immediately get on Amazon and order another of her books His & Hers. I have always gone broke buying books and I won't stop. $15

7 p.m. — My daughter texts me from college that she needs groceries. She's literally at the store, so I Venmo her $200. I'm still overdrawn so I know this is really going to cost me $235. What is wrong with me? I think as I send it to her. I need to get my sh*t together. $200

10 a.m. — Payday for both my husband and myself! I feel rich! My daughter was feeling down yesterday and lonely at college, especially since most of her classes are online, which means she's stuck in her apartment not meeting people. To cheer her up, I go on an online shopping spree at ASOS. I feel a little sick at how much I've spent as I check out, but I know she'll end up returning most of it. I also use a new email to sign up for their newsletter to save 15%. $618

1 p.m. — I like my new boss's earrings. I find them on Bloomingdale's app and buy them. I'm not sure why I have a Bloomingdale's app. I constantly fill my cart but rarely check out. $55

6 p.m. — It's Friday eve (AKA Thursday)! I use that as an excuse not to cook and order from The Cheesecake Factory: stuffed mushrooms, avocado egg rolls, and Greek salad. $65

8 a.m. — I order my Friday bagel for delivery! I also ask my husband to bring me home an iced latte while he's out on an appointment. $21

1 p.m. — I have to consume so much industry news in my new job role, that I want to go old-school and subscribe to physical magazine subscriptions. I'm tired of passively reading so much from my phone at night. Are we so cool now that we can't enjoy a physical magazine anymore? I subscribe to three of the most popular mags. $75

7 p.m. — I told (threatened) my husband last week that I wanted him to make a dinner reservation for us and surprise me. I wasn't surprised by dinner tonight necessarily, but we have a delicious dinner of truffle bread, Italian pasta, and cocktails (grapefruit martini? Whaa?). It's pricey, but worth it, and we're good tippers always! $220

9 a.m. — I order groceries to be delivered. I try to plan the menu for the week so that I don't have to think about what I'm going to make for dinner. I order lots of veggies for salads, sweet potatoes for the air fryer, salmon (we do eat some fish), lemons, honey, berries, brie, a French baguette, good olive oil, and fresh pasta. Man, groceries have gotten expensive. $160

1 p.m. — I fill up my gas tank. That is a lot. Jeez. $85

8 p.m. — We meet friends to see a comic and then grab drinks and dessert after. We split the bill, even though I'm pretty sure we drank more. $120

10 a.m. — I see an Instagram video with a laundry hack to wash all your socks together in a mesh bag so they don't get separated. Genius! I buy three on Amazon immediately. $15

3 p.m. — I'm trying to only drink Thursday through Saturday, so I need something new for a nighttime beverage. I buy a variety pack of teas and 50 of those little honey sticks on Amazon. $40

6 p.m. — Maybe I do want a glass of wine. I order a couple of bottles for delivery. $65

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual's experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

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America runs on families like this.
1 posted on 04/15/2022 10:13:14 AM PDT by Drew68
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To: Drew68

Typical for Socal. And Bay Area.

Average.


2 posted on 04/15/2022 10:16:29 AM PDT by Mariner (War Criminal #18)
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To: Drew68

Utilities: $1,000

That seems high even for CA.


3 posted on 04/15/2022 10:16:44 AM PDT by DarrellZero
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To: Mariner
Typical for Socal. And Bay Area. Average.

I like the part when they blew all but $40,000 of a half million inheritance.

4 posted on 04/15/2022 10:24:14 AM PDT by Drew68 (Ron DeSantis for President 2024)
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To: Drew68

Even if a bit embellished that day is absolute madness.


5 posted on 04/15/2022 10:27:18 AM PDT by RightOnTheBorder
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To: DarrellZero

Likely includes gardener, pool guy, alarm company, would be about right.


6 posted on 04/15/2022 10:29:45 AM PDT by sanjuanbob
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To: Drew68

This couple is an economic idiot.


7 posted on 04/15/2022 10:33:28 AM PDT by econjack (I'm not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.)
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To: Drew68

Gym $50.00...

But no food or groceries listed?


8 posted on 04/15/2022 10:35:39 AM PDT by Slicksadick (We accept the love we think we deserve.)
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To: Drew68

This can’t be real. No one can be that foolish.

Or can they?


9 posted on 04/15/2022 10:36:53 AM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia (Democrats: The perfect party for the helpless and stupid, and those who would rule over them.)
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To: Drew68

For those of you who have never lived in CA, this looks very normal.
You live and work to pay your bills.


10 posted on 04/15/2022 10:40:51 AM PDT by Zathras
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To: Drew68

They probably live someplace in the 949 area code if their HOA fees are $285 per month.

One thing I noticed is how many items are being delivered to their home (for a fee).

They need to use a personal finance software like Quicken.


11 posted on 04/15/2022 10:48:01 AM PDT by chrisinoc
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To: Drew68

Its interesting how she went from Jehovah’s Witness to indebted SoCal suburban materialist in one leap.


12 posted on 04/15/2022 10:51:30 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Zathras

Zillow shows my house in South OC at $920,000. Three bedroom - 1 1/2 bath two car garage. My utilities run about $310 per month including trash pickup. HOA and Lake Dues are about $175 a month. No cable, but maybe $120 a month in streaming services.

We have no kids but I wish my wife and I made half what this couple is pulling down.


13 posted on 04/15/2022 10:58:02 AM PDT by SoCal Pubbie
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To: chrisinoc

I live in 949. My HOA and Lake Dues are about $175.00 a month. But there are many communities that are MUCH more.


14 posted on 04/15/2022 10:59:40 AM PDT by SoCal Pubbie
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To: Drew68

Running a 10K credit card debt is not smart.


15 posted on 04/15/2022 11:09:17 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: SoCal Pubbie

I live in 949. My HOA and Lake Dues are about $175.00 a month. But there are many communities that are MUCH more.


I lived in Mission Viejo and Irvine for 33 years so I know how much HOA fees can add up. My friends lived in Newport Coast and paid $1000 monthly in HOA fees.

I live in Prescott Valley now and my HOA fees are $53.50 per month and that includes three clubhouses with pool and gym and a dog park. But there are ones in the area which are in the $400+ per month range.


16 posted on 04/15/2022 11:11:07 AM PDT by chrisinoc
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To: DarrellZero

We had months (summer) in Anaheim where our electricity was as high as the 600s.


17 posted on 04/15/2022 11:11:18 AM PDT by SoConPubbie (Mitt and Obama: They're the same poison, just a different potency)
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To: chrisinoc
One thing I noticed is how many items are being delivered to their home (for a fee).

She spends $15.50 almost every morning having a bagle with cream cheese delivered to her house. They have no savings and their checking account is overdrawn.

18 posted on 04/15/2022 11:12:47 AM PDT by Drew68 (Ron DeSantis for President 2024)
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To: Drew68

14,357.50in expenses. 15,700.00 in income. 1342.50 left at the end of the month.

These two clowns will be sorry someday unless that kid they’re educating pays off big time.


19 posted on 04/15/2022 11:14:43 AM PDT by TalBlack (We have a Christian duty and a patriotic duty. God help us.)
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To: Drew68

Crazy that you could have income that high and NO savings and NO 401K...at 44! Also crazy how easy it is to fritter away money on food delivery and Amazon miscellaneous. Prime makes it EXTRA easy.


20 posted on 04/15/2022 11:15:10 AM PDT by LizzieD (represents )
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